A Seed With A Choice

I know this is probably painfully obvious, it is to me too, but somehow I have a new sense of immediacy as to why our flesh needs to die out:

 

1.       Whatever fleshly part of us continues to live, tries to justify its own existence and grasps onto this temporal life (ie. reputation, sexuality, children, finances, career, you name it).

 

2.       Whatever grasps onto this life, and works to prove it’s worth  (justification), keeps us from entering into God's rest.

 

As I am being installed into my place as a slave to Christ, my flesh has thrashed about like a wild animal who doesn’t fully realize he has been overwhelmingly captured. I have desperately tried to figure out what I might cling to from my old life…My God will have NONE of it.

 

I imagine a terrified street urchin being caged and carted to a palatial new home by a kind and caring benefactor who has adopted him. He is caged for his own protection because he has not fully accepted that this gift is for real. Even after having been given proof of his good fortune he still clings to his last moldy crust of bread. As compelling as the evidence to the contrary may be, something deep inside of him still believes it to be his only hope of survival.

 

Sometimes I feel as though I have been shaken like a rag doll and much of what I was holding onto has been mercifully released from my grasp (I think I have described it before as being “Slapped out of my hands”). I had to be compelled to let go of that old life and even grieved the loss (there is a deep grief even if it is only a partially eaten crust of bread, it represents survival) even as I am being released into a gloriously beautiful freedom. I know there is much more that I could let go of, but God is being very patient with me.

 

I think I understand today more than ever what Jesus means when he tells us:

 

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” (John 12:24-26 esv)

 

I believe there is much evidence to suggest that the greatest world changers in Christian history (I mean the good ones) have wrestled with their faith, had their legs broken by Jesus’ in their own personal, terrifying, Sermon on the Mount, and rode atop Christ’s shoulders into those foggy, darkened margins just outside of what might be considered plausible, tidy, genteel, or reasonable. If we will go with Him where He leads, I am guessing His fiery sword (His Word) will provide just enough light for us to witness his majestic love at work, but not enough to allow us to get real comfortable. We get really stupid when we think we know the lay of the land, or when we start to feel our own strength again. 

I pray we will cling to Jesus ever... only.